I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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