I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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