Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
