i may or may not be watching the land before time
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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