I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
