the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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