I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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