Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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