I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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