and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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