Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
