how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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