ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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