dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
