my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
