Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize