I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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