i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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