But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
