It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
