What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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