Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You pole danced in your parka.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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