why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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