Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your cock deserves a montage
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
