She said her name was "party"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
