I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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