Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
