We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
