Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
