This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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