I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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