Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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