you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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