sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
