I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
