Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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