No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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