What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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