we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize