i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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