Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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