so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my poor anus
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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