I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize