at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
