He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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