And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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