I want to walk on stilts...naked
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
