Me too!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
