so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
