The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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