Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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