the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
