I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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