that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
