SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
