whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
