then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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