Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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