oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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