What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
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Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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