you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
