Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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